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zufallstreffer:

astrosloth2016:

I’m not saying that I’m an amazing actor but i HAVE won as many Oscars as Leonardo DiCaprio

let’s be honest we’re all just reblogging that as long as we still can

queenrylan:

esotericalesbians:

it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob

what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob

Because we have vaginas

joshpeckofficial:

yeah that’s true, but is it tru

So I got an idea

mildlyalice:

wereyoufullyawareofthisgaming:

duckscrymoo:

Let’s take this 

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and put it in 

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yes??? Nintendo, are you taking notes?

Real life. The concept you’re thinking of is going outside.

yeah ok buddy I’m just gonna step outside and go talk to my neighbour the talking cat. the fuck kind of real life are you living?

paradisaic:

when you’re a two-dimensional dog just trying to have fun at a three-dimensional playground

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tittily:

public school is so weird tho because you have this institution with all these potentially brilliant minds who will go on to do great things for humanity 

and then you look down at your textbook and its like

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stability:

if you can hear anything over your music it’s not loud enough

basedgosh:

i feel like tall people at concerts have everything they want in the world

surprisebitch:

when you’re babysitting and the kid won’t eat their veggies

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targetwhore:

420 gain it

dendropsyche:

Oh, wait, you said ”SEND NUDES”? I thought you said “SEND NUKES” hahaha whoops uh i guess you should evacuate your city or something

jalapenopizza:

isnt it odd how the human mind expands inwardly forever

i can build characters and worlds and universes and define new laws of nature

construct stories and timelines and fit it all together inside my own head

and yet i can’t draw a fUCKING LAMP

therealhamster:

anyone wanna make out… a check to me for 500,000 dollars